How to meditate when you can’t stop thinking
This post is inspired by a question I frequently come across: how do you meditate? When asked this, it isn’t that people don’t know what meditation is or what’s expected, it’s more that they can’t seem to cease thought to get to a meditative state. If that’s you, or if you’re just starting out and want to incorporate meditation into your routine, this article is for you.
Many have the expectation that their thoughts must be completely stopped when meditating, and while this can work for some, this isn’t the only way to meditate. Meditation isn’t just about ceasing thought; it’s about getting into a relaxed, passive state where your connection to source energy/God is cast wide open, where creative ideas and guidance flows. It’s about getting into a non-resistive state and being as much in the present moment as you can.
It might be helpful to ask yourself: what are you trying to achieve with meditation? Are you trying to just bring some relaxation and a few minutes of peace into your day? Are you trying to train your focus? Do you want a better connection to source energy/God or your spirit guides? Do you want to increase your ability to hear and receive guidance? Are you hoping to create a space for ideas to flow or intuition to expand? Perhaps it’s all of the above, or maybe you don’t even know what you want to achieve with it but want to give it a go to see what benefits, if any, present themselves. Knowing what you want to achieve with meditation can aid in deciding which method is best, but if you’re unsure, any place is fine to start with.
Before we dive into the different ways to meditate, it’s worth mentioning that regardless of which method(s) you decide to go with, give yourself permission to let go of everything for a few minutes. Let go of the anxiety, worries, fears, overthinking, list of things that need your attention (within reason, of course), and give yourself permission to do this for yourself.
There is no suggested time allotment for meditation, not from me at least. It can be as short as 3 minutes to as long as you’d like it to be. It’s whatever is achievable for you. Some of these methods may work for you in the beginning and not later on (which is completely normal), and sometimes any method may take practice to reap its benefits. Grant yourself the patience for something new and at least a month to turn it into a habit.
Here are 8 different ways to meditate when the conventional way of quieting the mind doesn’t seem to be working for you:
Probably the most recommended way to meditate when thinking seems to get in the way is the use of guided meditation. You can find guided meditation all over the internet - YouTube, Spotify, various websites. It is essentially a meditation where someone narrates what to visualize and encourages you when/how to relax. Instead of having to sit in silence, you’re listening to a voice quite literally guiding you. Don’t go by popularity when choosing a guided meditation, but by the voice that soothes you the most.
Listen to soothing or uplifting classical or instrumental music while focusing on one of the instruments. This is one that I’ve personally used in the past. When listening to a classical piece, choose an instrument of choice (e.g. the viola, clarinet, etc.), and try focusing on hearing it. Sometimes the instrument doesn’t get played till you’re well into the music, other times you’ll catch it right away and must continue focusing on it through the song. This forces you to be present with the music. Avoid music with lyrics, especially those with negativity that you don’t want planted in your subconscious.
Focus on the sounds of your surroundings, especially nature. Choose a quieter place, if possible, and just listen to your surroundings. Listen (with a focus) to the birds chirping, to the water or trees. This also helps bring you to the present moment to just be with the sounds. I’d avoid using this method in crowded places or areas with heavy traffic to avoid feeling overwhelmed. This is also a wonderful way to meditate for a few minutes in the morning before getting out of bed, when the birds are chirping and the busy sounds of the day haven’t yet started.
Have you ever found yourself lost staring off into space, sometimes without even blinking? If you can replicate this intentionally, it’s a great way to just be. You may notice thoughts, but if you allow them to merely pass through, you can maintain a passive state of just being.
Another common method you often hear is to focus on your breathing. I like to expand on this by focusing on your heart space while being intentional with your breathing. Some people prefer counting when breathing in and out to help maintain focus. Really focusing on your heartspace, or body, brings awareness to your body, how you feel and what you sense.
Do something that gets you “in the zone”. This is often a creative activity you love to do (e.g. drawing, coloring, creating music, writing, etc.) The key is to get in that focused headspace where you’re simply just doing the task as hand. When you’re “in the zone”, thought becomes passive and you become more present. Most of the thought pertains to what’s in front of you - a little color here, a better word there, etc. This is a personal favorite of mine, and a wonderful way to be in a place to receive guidance or ideas.
Guide yourself into relaxing, relaxing, relaxing and relaxing. I recommend doing this in a comfortable position, either in bed, on the couch or in an armchair without distractions. This is an intentional way of relaxing the body and the mind. You can easily guide yourself doing this by first relaxing every part of your body in sequence (whichever sequence you choose), and doing this repeatedly until you feel you’re melting into whatever you’re on. Loosen your posture and muscles, and keep loosening them. You can subvocalize this, if it’s helpful. Once your body is relaxed, you can do the same to your mind by guiding it to let go of worries, anxiety, the things you need to do, etc. Be specific about it. You can put calming sounds in the background too, such as ocean waves or the sound of a breeze. Don’t be alarmed if you fall asleep partway through!
Actively listen for the silence. In between the sounds is silence. In between the words we speak, the notes in music, the swoosh of the wind is silence. Focus on finding and listening to the silence. This is similar #2 above but instead of focusing on sounds, it’s on the silence. This is a great method for those wanting to achieve some quiet and peace through meditation, and for those seeking connection to source energy/God. So much lives in silence, yet most people can’t stand to sit in it. If you’re uncomfortable being bored or sitting in silence, this may be exactly what you need to do.
I can’t close this article out without advising to not fight your thoughts. Do not get mad or beat yourself up for having thoughts when you’re trying to meditate. It’s normal! When you resist your thoughts and get upset, not only do you give your power away to the hundreds and thousands of thoughts you have, you also build resistance, which makes meditation even more difficult to practice. When you become aware that you’ve been thinking, be happy that you’re aware of it at all. Let them pass through without resistance, and simply try your meditation again. It gets easier with practice.
Lastly, always go with your intuition when choosing which meditation method is best for you, not your head. Maybe only one stands out to you, or maybe none of them. Your intuition is your personal (and best) guidance system. If you have a difficult time differentiating your intuition from your head, choose any that is feasible. There’s no harm in starting with any of these!